May 2003

Dear Editor,

We got my dog a new leash. It's one of those harnesses. You know the kind. It doesn't pinch the neck. Rather the dog wears it over the shoulders like a strappy top. Well now he runs like lightening past all of the other houses in the neighborhood that have dogs. He acts as though we've put a brassiere on him or something...

They all Woofed

Sung to the tune of "They all Laughed" by George and Ira Gershwin

My owner snapped my harness around my shoulder
The dogs in the neighborhood laughed and howled
But canines behind fences couldn't be colder
For those dogs with their gross mange
Ridiculing my look as strange
Were too short-sighted to see the way collars have changed

They all laughed at Lassie and his rescue, Underdog fighting crime
They all laughed at Scooby and his snacking time
They all laughed at Shaggy and his D.A., Clifford getting in the car
Tramp and his Lady made the dogs go crazy
That's how purebreeds are

 
They laughed at me every day
As I went out for my run
But all I will say
Is I'm out having fun

They all said my harness just looked silly, they laughed at me and how
But woof, woof, woof who's got the last laugh now?

 
They all laughed at Snoopy and his flying when he went off to war
They all laughed at Dino though a Dinosaur
They all laughed at Tiger in his dog house cuddling Kitty-Carry-All
Ralph and his piano when he sang soprano
Mean dogs have some gall

They laughed at me strapped up neat
Round my neck and shoulder too
But I run the streets
While they're caged in by their poo

They all said they'd never wear a harness, but hound-dogs, don't look now
Your owner bought one, who's getting strapped in
Rugg, ruff, ruff, you're feeling trapped in
Har, har, har who's got a harness now?!

By Theresa and Catherine Rubino

© June 2003 The Snooze. All rights reserved.